Society Issues

When I go out, I absolutely love seeing other people in wheelchairs. This is because I know that, with the way things are today, they absolutely don’t have to. People can have most things delivered to their door. Plus I know how difficult it is to leave the comfort of familiar surroundings and go out into a world that isn’t very accommodating structurally or mentally. A lot of people and establishments aren’t as wonderful as people think.

I have encountered so many different types of people and situations when out and almost every time, I go home and cry. I go out often anyway because I want to make seeing disabilities normal. Especially for kids.

There are the people who avoid me completely and won’t even go down the same isle in a store. There are people who actually put masks on if near me and act like I have something catching. I feel like I am in elementary school and need a cootie shot 😂

To those people, I would love to put things in perspective. The other person next to you might not have seen a Dr since they were little. A disabled person’s health is often monitored by several people. I go to the Dr every four months and do bloodwork yearly. I’ve had tons of mris and cat scans. I also see certain specialists regularly and have to do more self care than usual. So trust me, you are better off near me than an unknown wild card. Honestly, you can do more harm to ME. When I go out, I try to wear a mask in stores mainly because there are so many common germ that are no big deal usually. However, even a common stomach bug, I can’t run to the bathroom and don’t have help to take care of me. So you see how that can be a problem.😂

There are people who are very fast to offer help without an ounce of hesitation. A few times some people ran to help me. Some who are overly helpful who draw so much unwanted attention to you. People who “get the manager” because “you shouldn’t be waiting on these lines” I love both of these people. I also don’t expect special treatment. I’m very independent and it takes a lot for me to ask for help. A lot of people who know me, know this about me so they often don’t ask. They know I usually say no. So they just do it.

I recently saw videos of a man who does social experiments and I cried because similar things happen to me so often. It really shines a light on so many problems and I really commend him for empathizing and bringing attention to a huge problem! Watch his videos and imagine it being you or someone you know. In the escalator video it really shows the way we’re taught fear or to avoid helping others. The little girl clearly cared and wanted to help but her father ushered her away. The teenager clearly cared but from a distance. Kids are taught a fear of disabled people and the unknown. Then the adults who are taught all of that fear grow up and stare from a big distance with pity and none help until that wonderful woman! Her parents should be so proud! Watch his videos and think about which person you would want your child to be.

Although I can have groceries delivered, there are fees I can’t really afford and even if I could…..why? I’m very frugal. So I go food shopping myself. I bring bags and carry the full ones on the back of my chair. When it gets too heavy, I stop standing to grab things because the weight will pull my chair back. I live near Queens NY so there aren’t people running to help.

I’ve been to a Walmart by me hundreds of times and have been run over and cut off by employees but none ever ask if I need help. Not even when I’m struggling to get heavy bags off of my chair and up to a register. So many patrons have though. I remember this lady just passing the aisle I was in, she reversed just to ask me if I needed her to reach something. I love people like that and hope it comes back them!

The cashiers there- most aren’t very helpful. Most won’t help you bag anything so I’m usually stuck trying to bag an entire grocery order while they move on to checking out the next person and act annoyed that I’m still there. Last time this happened, I was holding back tears and not one employee came to help but a patron did. She was like a guardian angel to me. She looked so disgusted with the cashier! I’m not sure what the store policy is and it doesn’t really matter. At certain times in your life, being a human being is all that really matters. A few minutes of your time and effort can mean so much to someone else! People often underestimate their effects on others. I don’t go food shopping there anymore.

Once when I ordered grocery delivery from there, they actually left everything in a pile by my door. No bags. I live in an apartment building and the floors are disgusting. I fell trying to pick everything up and went through months of physical therapy, bed rest, imaging, specialists, etc….. I tried reporting it so this didn’t happen to anyone else but after countless chats and promises to email me….. Nothing! I even wrote a letter through the better business bureau and they received it but didn’t respond. So I’ll go there to get out but try to buy most things elsewhere. At first I blamed it on my area but after everything that happened, it’s obvious that the whole company is a mess. Once a similar store becomes available, they’ll likely lose the majority of their customers.
Of every type of person, it’s kids being scared that bothers me the most because it’s so obviously unnatural.
I hate that kids are scared because it’s new to them. That’s not their fault. Kids are also usually the most helpful, curious and willing to learn. I always try to stop and let them look at everything. I love that it opens up so many conversations between parents and children. It teaches them empathy for others and allows them to see a great side of their parent!

I told someone that I love going out even if I don’t feel like it- for the kids.
In my opinion, teaching children to be around disabled people is invaluable! It would help create a more inclusive future world run by people who truly understand.

Becoming disabled is never an easy thing but, being that they understand better, if they themselves or a relative became disabled, the transition would be easier. Imagine being scared of someone you were so close to yesterday just because they are suddenly different. Imagine being scared of yourself? We really must do better by our children!

A more inclusive world would be so wonderful! I can’t even remember all of the things I had to miss because of mobility issues. Or garbage ramps and dark back alleys I’ve gone through. A more inclusive world definitely wouldn’t fix everything but it would make the list much smaller and more memorable. Most people couldn’t remember everything because that list would be so long. I go out very often and I encounter so many issues every time I do. Sure some individuals may be to blame but ultimately the blame doesn’t fully land on them, I believe most problems originate from government and a serious lack of laws and a huge lack in the enforcement of current laws.
What government officials should understand is that today they have the power to change things that they might need tomorrow. In minutes, anyone’s life can completely change and if I missed an opportunity to change things, I would be upset. Help anyone as much as you can because that could be you praying for help tomorrow and things have a way of coming back to you.