~~~~~~~~Not So Sweet 16~~~~~~~~

I didn’t have a typical sweet 16. Some kids get a car and a gigantic party. Even though my birthday is very close to Christmas, it still wasn’t as sweet. I had to stop by my dad’s job for something, he gave me a bottle of champagne that someone gave him as a Christmas gift. My friends got me a keg and we got wasted.

Last month was 16 years since I got sick. 16 VERY long years of struggling and heartaches. Not gonna lie, it has definitely sucked. There are also certain wonderful things that wouldn’t have happened otherwise, I wouldn’t have had the privilege of meeting some of my favorite people and I probably would not have had the opportunity to reconnect with others. That would be a tragedy.

“The first law of nature is natural selection.

Survival of the fittest.

It determines whether a species endures or goes extinct.

One might guess the smartest or strongest would stand the best chance, but no.

Survival is determined by the ability to adapt.

The mind can push the body to great lengths in the name of survival.

But at what cost?”- Brilliant minds

~~

It takes practice.

But, just like in sports, it starts with the fundamentals.

Teaching different parts of the body to move as one.

Just like players on one team.

With a lot of patience and strong will, you can learn to reconnect with your body in a brand new way.

It takes hard work for a group of players to come together.

It might even seem impossible until you try.

“Your posse abandoned you when you needed them most.

I can’t imagine how scary that must’ve been for you.

‘Cause our people are what make life worth living.

You make memories with them.

You share memories with them.

They keep you on the right path.

They pick you up when you fall down.

Truth is, I can’t imagine anything more painful than going through life alone.

Except maybe one thing. Going through death alone.

Your days of bouncing around unknown and forgotten are over.

‘Cause I’m in your posse now.” Buck

~~

When I got sick, most of my family and friends disappeared. Disabilities are not for the weak. Very often, even an occasional friendship with someone who has a disability is too much to deal with. Things those people with disabilities have to deal with 24\7, people can’t deal with these inconveniences 24 hours out of an entire year? Interesting.

My own mother has never even been to my house (I’ve lived here for 12 years) and speaks negatively of me. I will never understand what people gain from having so much hate in their heart. What good does it do anyone?

I hope my children know that this is not normal. I could never imagine even thinking negatively about them for a second. They can give me their worst but always expect my best in return.

I love music of all kinds but this group always seriously impresses me! They are able to do miraculous things with their voices. Sounding better than people using millions of dollars worth of equipment! No amount of money can buy that talent! I can get lost, for hours, watching their videos. One of my favorites is Imagine.

I don’t celebrate but I do like to go out to do something so I’m not all up in my head. I wanted to thank everyone who showed up for me. From the bottom of my heart! That really meant so much to me! I hope they know that they can count on me to show up for them whenever I can!

A special thank you to anyone who has helped me along the way and for being my friends! That has made my difficult journey so much easier! I love you all!

My sickness was over long ago but I believe that most damage to the brain leaves it vulnerable to further decay.

There are no cures for neurodegenerative diseases but you can slow the symptoms with exercise. Diet. Sleep. Giving you time and hope for a future where we know more. There are people working on things besides deciding the need for signs not to eat laundry detergent hahahaha

Our nervous systems can’t heal in isolation. We need care, love, and connection.

Studies show that mammals with friends live longer

I hope everyone feels welcome to contact me whenever they need to! I believe that connections are so extremely important for your mental health. Without that, your physical health definitely follows suit.

“We are all connected.

Genetically, all humans are 99.9% identical.

Composed of the same elements- oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, phosphorus.

But society creates barriers that separate us. Disconnect us. 

Sometimes we fear those who are different. Ignore them. Block them out. Or simply look away. What if we took a moment to stop?

Look? Listen? Step outside of ourselves and into their shoes? Perhaps we could find a way to connect.” Brilliant minds

~~

There are three kinds of deaths. There is the physical death that we all know and people write about. Then, there is the kind when people stop caring about you. And the worst kind is when you stop caring for yourself.

Start living! Stop caring about what people think and try things that scare you once in a while!

When I die and my life flashes before my eyes, I want it to be a great show!