It’s Never Marshmallows

It’s always great when you can laugh at things. 

I remember telling someone about this bad situation and I laughed. She said -Gina! That’s not funny!

I said- would you rather me cry? You’re mean!

It’s always better to laugh instead of cry. I’ve tried both and laughing is definitely nicer

Almost daily, mishaps occur that make people in wheelchairs have to dig deep into their creativity. It definitely makes it impossible to care what people think about you.

It’s usually a horrible occurrence but is something to look back at and laugh. It also gives some great stories to tell. I have many of those.

Often when turning around, I knock something over and it lands right behind my chair. It’s never marshmallows, I always double check

It usually happens when you’re wedged against the wall or something. So you definitely can’t go forward unless you’re someone like the Hulk. Sometimes it’s something big and won’t let you reverse and other times, it’s something breakable. The other day, my headphones fell right behind my wheel and I was blocked by my bed in front of me. I’ve had to get very creative many times and I would probably be a viral “try not to laugh” video if I taped it.

My friend has a power chair. One day, he leaned over to put his shoes on, his sleeve caught on the joystick and it drove his head right through the drywall. He was ok so it was hilarious!

One day I was cleaning. I had just fed my bearded dragon so I had white calcium powder all over, my eyes were red from the cleaning fumes, I was wearing a tequila shirt with a drooling Chihuahua saying “suck on this” and I forgot that I had a bra hanging on the back of my chair. I was wondering why my neighbors looked at me funny when I went to throw out garbage and check the mail hahahaha 

 I just don’t have time to stop and worry about what anyone else thinks.

I know this guy who was way too proper about everything. Eventually, I had to say- listen, friendship with me is different in many aspects. At any moment, I can need help. That help is usually immediate and if that happens, I don’t want to worry if I’m gonna need stitches just because you’re too worried about being politically correct. Get it together man!

People who need the most help are sometimes the one’s feared or slighted the most. I wasn’t taught anything about disabled people growing up. I didn’t even know anyone in a wheelchair really. I was taught the same thing as most people were- don’t stare and that it’s rude to ask anything. I grew up to fear people like me and it breaks my heart seeing that same look in a child’s face because of me. I know that sheer fear. So I’ll notice everyone cryptically staring. It’s kind of eerie sometimes.

Personally, I love being asked questions. It shows a genuine interest. I can’t even remember how many times I was so hurt by people who assume things about me instead though.

Did you know that an ambulance will not take your wheelchair? I went to the emergency room on my own but no ambulance company would take me home because of my wheelchair. I had to spend $25 on a taxi at 3am. The time before that, I had to leave my wheelchair at the hospital. The paramedics stranded me in my bed with the door unlocked and I had to wait for the police to bring my chair. Instead of bringing it in, they left it outside my front door but I couldn’t get to it so they had to come back. Such a helpless feeling – not being ambulatory, I don’t live in a great area, my door was unlocked and my only transportation was left out in a hallway where people often steal wheelchairs.

A lot of incidents are made a little easier because I heavily rely on my other senses. It really helps my balance issues if I focus on something. Yoga really helped me learn how to use focal points and steady breathing. Tell someone with balance issues to close their eyes and it feels like you are on a boat at sea during a storm. Yoga helped me be able to close my eyes, to  focus on my breathing and surroundings. Just simply feeling that something safe to fall on is right behind me helps. It’s like many things in life- you may not always need something but it helps just knowing it’s there.

Each added disability a person has makes everything even more difficult for them. Plus, each disability brings their own set of challenges. I can open a heavy door if I have to while other people are prisoners in their own homes until help comes. That’s awful! Buildings who refuse to put in automatic doors should be so ashamed of themselves!

There are automatic door openers for your personal door that I want to look into. Because it’s great for people to be able to leave the building but it really doesn’t matter if they can’t get out of their apartment to get to the automatic doors.

I never understand anyone who chooses not to get something because it’s an inconvenience, even though it might really help someone. One of the worst reasons I’ve ever heard was “I don’t like the aesthetic”. That was so hurtful coming from a “friend”

If you love someone and something can help them get to you, you shouldn’t care what it looks like. That’s basically saying that you are shallow and that you care more about looks than anything of substance. People will pray for a stairway to heaven to see the same friend that they wouldn’t build a ramp for so they could spend time with them when they were here. I don’t know about others but whenever I saw a ramp or anything else at someone’s house, I thought they were very caring people who’d do a lot for the people they love. That was what I thought from the time I was very young. Before I needed these things myself. People will argue against inclusion but forget that our children are watching and learning from that. Is that something you want them to see? Would you be proud to tell anyone?

I never understood people who are against any accessibility rules. If you suddenly lose an ability, does that automatically mean most places should be off limits or impossibly difficult? Too often, the financial aspect of any changes are considered more than the human quality of life and that’s a very sad example of what this world has become. 

It’s not like people are asking anyone to carry our wheelchairs up the steps for us, we are simply asking for a way to do it ourselves without having to bother you. Why are the costs for stairs taken as an immediate given but ramps aren’t? The world tells me that I’m not as important as everyone else every single day. Having to fight for basic human rights daily is such a hard existence. Without ramps and other accessibility features, we either can’t get to many places or we fall trying to and it’s DEFINITELY never on marshmallows.