I’m a Little Bit Sexist

The following opinions aren’t based on man vs. woman in the basic abilities sense. It’s based on society and how the world treats people. This isn’t anyone’s fault, it’s just years of routine and the “normalcy” of our world. 

If we have the ability to build rockets to take people into outer space, we definitely have the ability to change societal issues. Sadly, if something cannot provide a monetary gain or isn’t an “emergency”, it’s deemed unimportant. When COVID came, the government had the ability to make people stay in their homes, learn & work from home, wear masks, stand 6 feet apart, etc….. overnight! An entire country! I guess if it is just crucial to a percentage of the world, it’s not as important.

Any improvement in society, unfortunately, continuously gets overlooked because it doesn’t provide immediate gratification. That’s what we’ve come to really crave.

I remember having to wait for a birthday or Christmas for something I wanted but the anticipation made you appreciate it so much more. Now kids not only get things handed to them for no reason but most get mad if they have to wait for delivery and delay “gratification” for a day or two. Do you think that will improve their lives at all?

I often think about people with different disabilities and how hard it must be. There’s also a large majority of people who are wildly overlooked in this particular situation. People who were born with a Y chromosome.

I think any disability sucks but I think it’s so different for women vs. men.It’s acceptable for women to be weak and need help. No matter how horrible it is, it’s more acceptable to society.

From the time boys are little, family and society tell them that they have so many responsibilities. Be brave, tough, don’t show emotion, protect your family and friends, etc…..Girls are taught that it’s ok if they don’t succeed because if you fail, someone can just take care of you. A lot of people act like girls are delicate! Don’t get me wrong, some definitely are but so are some men! 

I welcome all men to write about their views on this. I can post them so people have  a better understanding of everything.I also welcome anyone’s stories on all different topics. Speaking up is a great way to educate others.The key to obtaining the changes we want is by helping others understand why we need them.The following is a story written by a wonderful man named Kendrick Avant:

Life as a disabled man

*lights funny cigarette*

Tribespeople, I come before you to voice the opinions of a disabled man. Scratch that. I’m speaking for a community often overlooked within its own leaders and supporters. As a man, KING, dealing with chronic illness, living from a wheelchair, I feel the weight of others’ judgment. It’s heavy yet invisible. I bust my ass, every day, to maintain a perspective of Gratitude. I’m responsible for my Inner G (pronounced “energy”), mood, and effort. This is a priority for me, mental health. In a world of severe disabilities, legal blindness and perpetual nerve pain, keeping my imagination from wasting into negativity is paramount. My whole day can be hijacked by negative thoughts, loneliness and abandonment. It is imperative to my healing and day-to-day operations. 

The judgment of others is an assault on my sanity. I’m often asked the most personal of questions by random people and new acquaintances. “Wow. You really ARE messed up. I’m sorry bro. Does your thing still work? Like, can you have sex?” First, yes, a resounding, powerful, yes. Then, comes the true pettiness. From that insanely, intrusive question, people speculate what I’m capable of. If I need help moving, folks wait until I’m making physical noises out of exertion. The simple look of my effort isn’t enough. Nooo, they need to hear me before offering assistance. It’s such a common occurrence that I no longer feel embarrassed by the question. 

I require a lot of help to physically move. I gotta be held up, someone must move my legs to actually get me anywhere. I know this type of assistance is best handled by a strong individual. Strong individual usually defines the biggest guy near me. The biggest guy near me is always worried about the perception that he’s gay. Holding my hand or arm is regularly rejected for some obscure positioning. *rolls eyes* It hurts. Everytime, it hurts and I’m wishing he’d just hold my hand or arm. Three times, a guy has literally thrown me over his shoulder and dropped me wherever I headed. OUCH!

Emotionally, psychologically, I am straight up bullied. Guys think I’m supposed to accept archaic, antiquated terms like “handicapped” and “retarded”. It is assumed I’m okay with discussions of marital sex, wages, earnings, even medical side effects. Guys are dangerously open about asking if/how/when/where the side effects occur. “Ooo. Dawg, you take those expensive medicines. Does it help you get hard? Make you last longer? What do those medicines do because I see the commercials? It’s a non-stop, impromptu sex ed. course that I usually run from. Guys casually ridicule my clothing for being too tight or too loose. Nope, my explanations of easier movement do not save me. My shoes are a beacon of jokes as guys ask,”Bro! What are THOSE?!” Folks, this ain’t no life for the weak. 

The mass majority of my communication issues lie squarely with men. Women are much faster to offer help but I rarely accept. I worry I’m too heavy or too long. I also get self-conscious that guys are judging me even more. I know, I know. I shouldn’t care about guys’ judgment but I do. I’m a guy. I want the approval, affirmation, confirmation of my peers but I overstand, that want is crushing my mental health. 

If you can’t GET better, BE better. 

Kendrick Avant, M.EdProfessor of Gratitude832.677.7037 (WhatsApp too!)kendrickavant.com/professor